


Visiting Jongdae

by at1stsoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, nonAU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/at1stsoo/pseuds/at1stsoo
Summary: Kyungsoo has a day of leave, and Jongin can't wait to spend it with him. But first, they drop in on a friend that deserves some congratulating.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Wife
Comments: 47
Kudos: 158





	Visiting Jongdae

**Author's Note:**

> This nonau Kaisoo are in a long established relationship, set in our real world as it is today. Kyungsoo is gay and Jongin is bi. (Extension of my Waxing & Waning au, but this fic can be read alone without that context.)

It took some doing, getting this visit together. In a pandemic, no less. But it’s finally happening. Jongin bounces excitedly in his seat as his car creeps closer and closer to the guard house at the edge of the military base. Finally, it’s his turn.

“Name?” the guard asks, all business.

“Kim Jongin.”

The guard gives a look of recognition, eyes widening slightly before reforming into his stoic soldier face. “And what business do you have on base?”

“Just picking up a soldier for a day of leave,” Jongin replies. He scans the outside of a nearby building and sees his boyfriend waiting on a bench. “Corporal Do Kyungsoo. He’s right over there.” Jongin points and waves at Kyungsoo, a giddy grin on his face upon seeing Kyungsoo squint at his car to ascertain if it is indeed him.

The guard scans his list and nods. “He tested negative for COVID earlier this morning and is cleared for a 12 hour leave. Due back by 9pm tonight, understood?”

“Yes, sir. No problem,” Jongin agrees.

“Right. You can pull ahead to pick him up and then please immediately exit on the opposite side. But um, first…” he fumbles with his pen and hastily grabs a sheet of paper from the guard house. “Would you mind signing this? My girlfriend, she’s a huge fan, and it would mean the world to her.”

“Sure. What’s her name?” Jongin willingly makes out the autograph to her and hands it back to the guard, who gives a deep, grateful bow. Jongin sees that Kyungsoo has indeed noticed his car now and is standing, waiting for his pickup. Wishing the guard a good day, he eagerly pulls around and resists the urge to get out and open the passenger side door for Kyungsoo, not wanting to seem odd to onlookers.

Kyungsoo opens the door and slides in. “Hey, you,” he says with a big smile.

Jongin’s windows are tinted, but not enough to obscure them from view of the company of soldiers jogging right past them, so he quickly drives out of the base and waits until they come to a red light to turn and pull Kyungsoo into a soft kiss for a proper ‘hello.’

Once their lips have found each other, it’s hard for them to separate. Kyungsoo returns each press Jongin offers with another one of his own, as he threads his fingers through Jongin’s locks. Eventually, they’re interrupted by the honking of horns behind them. Whoops. Light was green a while ago.

Jongin reluctantly turns his attention back to the road and starts driving again, making sure to interlace his fingers with Kyungsoo’s as their hands settle on the center console.

“Missed you,” he says with a happy sigh.

“Same. I have to be back before evening roll call this time,” Kyungsoo says somberly.

“Yeah, the guard mentioned that. Doesn’t the army understand the importance of  _ overnight  _ leave?” Jongin teases with waggled brows.

“They’re worried about guys hitting the clubs and coming back with COVID,” Kyungsoo grimaces. “By the way, you get tested already or do we need to stop by a clinic?”

Jongin gestures toward the glove compartment. “Clean bill of health in there. Got mine done last night. Hopefully that’ll satisfy the gatekeepers, yes?”

Kyungsoo hums agreeably and kisses the back of Jongin’s hand. “You excited?”

“Absolutely.”

“Have the presents?”

“Yep, the one from us, the one from my mom and sisters, and the one from your mom. She says hi, by the way, and that you owe her your next day off,” Jongin grins, recalling Mrs. Do’s good-natured chiding from yesterday when they had lunch.

The traffic is light, leaving them only a little time to chat before they’ve arrived at their destination. With gifts in hand, they walk up to the cozy home and ring the doorbell.

“Oh! You’re here!” chirps the pleased friend on the video monitor. The door unlocks, and there is Jongdae, beaming his bright smile at them both.

“Congratulations,” Kyungsoo cheers in a hushed voice. “Are they sleeping or awake?”

Jongdae laughs and waves them inside. “Everyone’s awake! Come in, come in. All cleared from base? Still COVID free?” As soon as Kyungsoo nods, Jongdae pulls him into a crushing hug. “So good to see you, man.”

“And what am I, chopped liver?” Jongin pouts, opening up his arms for a hug from his friend.

“Oh don’t be such a baby, Nini,” Dae snickers, giving him a big hug, too. “We just saw each other last week at Baekhyun’s Inkigayo win.”

“Jongdae, that was a month and a half ago.”

“It was?” Dae looks genuinely surprised and Kyungsoo laughs at them.

“Guess time is hard to keep track of with an infant, huh?” Kyungsoo says fondly. “Well, can we meet the little lady?”

“Wow, now who feels discarded,” Jongdae chuckles. “But yes, please, come meet the newest love of my life.” His fatherly pride exudes from every pore of his being as he leads them further into the house.

In the living room sits Jongdae’s wife, holding a pink bundle of blankets and presumably baby. Jongin bows and rushes to her side the moment she invites them to sit. He’s seen pictures in the EXO group chat, of course, but there’s nothing quite like being in the actual presence of a child. Jongin can’t even wait ten seconds before he asks, “can I hold her?”

Jongdae’s wife giggles. “Her own father was too scared to hold her for the first hour, did you know that? He tried to play it off like most men are hesitant but here you are, proving him wrong.” She makes a playful face at her husband, scrunching her nose up.

“Hey, Jongin’s a seasoned uncle. He’s had more practice,” Jongdae defends himself as Jongin eagerly settles the infant into his arms, gently swaying her side to side as he admires her little features.

“Oh, you’re a pretty princess, aren’t you?” Jongin coos to her.

“Takes after her mother then?” Kyungsoo adds, kindly complimenting while also shooting a teasing dig at Jongdae, who elbows him good-naturedly.

The baby girl stretches out a tiny hand and grasps Jongin’s finger that was petting her soft cheek. Her grip, so soft and strong at the same time, sends a flood of joy through Jongin’s chest. “Hello, there, little one. Look how strong you are!” He beams at her as she makes a few adorable gurgles and stares up at his face. “Hi!” Jongin babbles back. He’s smiling so hard, his cheeks actually hurt. He looks at Kyungsoo next to him and asks, “Isn’t she amazing?”

Kyungsoo is watching him, not the baby, a small smile on his lips. He nods nonetheless.

Jongin returns his attention to the warm bundle in his arms, rocking and chatting softly with her as the other adults in the room make their own version of small talk. Eventually, Jongin realizes he has been holding her quite a while.

“Sorry, I’m hogging her. Soo, do you want to hold her?”

Kyungsoo hesitates, mouth open a moment before he actually speaks. “No, I’m okay. She looks so comfortable with you - I don’t want to disturb.”

Jongdae shoves Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “Worried you’ll make her cry? See, I told you that’s normal!” he retorts to his wife, signature whine in his voice before they all chuckle.

“She’s such a good snuggler,” Jongin compliments. “What a good baby you are, yes, you’re a darling,” he coos at her.

The mom finishes a sip of the tea Jongdae served and quickly interjects. “She is now, but you should hear her at 3am.”

“Oh, man,” Jongdae agrees. “You know how Baekhyun sounds on his fourth cup of coffee? Like that but  _ louder. _ ”

“Well that’s just not possible,” Kyungsoo deadpans.

“I think she sounds more like her father when she gets cranked up. Imagine one long  _ ‘waeeeee,’ _ ” Jongdae’s wife teases, imitating him perfectly as the men all laugh. “Speaking of which, she's probably getting hungry.” Jongdae’s wife gently touches Jongin’s arm. “I should go feed her before you’re subjected to that.”

Reluctantly, Jongin gives up the baby in his arms, waving at her as her mom walks her out of the room to the nursery.

“So tell me about the solo. How are things going?” Jongdae asks him, and Jongin realizes he’s ignored the adult side of conversation that’s been happening around him. They spend a good half hour catching up on a blend of personal, professional, and military stories.

When Jongdae’s wife returns to the living room, it’s without the baby. “She needed to lay down for a nap,” she explains to Jongin and his expectant face. He tries to hide his disappointment.

“You should open the gifts,” Kyungsoo suggests to Dae.

“Yeah,” Jongin agrees, handing him one. “This is from me and Kyungsoo.” It’s a teddy bear with an accompanying storybook about the adventures the bear has been on. The personally knit hat and mittens from Kyungsoo’s mother are a hit, with Jongdae’s wife admiring the careful stitching along the seams. Jongin’s sisters included a gift card to the spa for the mom along with the traditional gold rings for the upcoming 100 days celebration.

“I’m sorry we can’t be here for the actual party,” Kyungsoo says politely, but Jongdae waves off the apology.

“You’re enlisted, you fool. I didn’t even expect you to stop over, honestly, what with how little vacation they’re allowing right now. Thanks so much for making the time, really.” Dae puts a hand on each of them, giving a sincere squeeze.

“Thanks for having us. I know you need to sleep when the baby’s sleeping,” Jongin says understandingly, noticing the mom’s quiet yawn. “We’ll take off.”

They all stand and exchange goodbyes, and then Jongin is walking back to his car with Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo who is quiet, much quieter than usual. They buckle into their seats, and Jongin pauses, not starting the car.

“Hyung?” he asks, studying him.

Kyungsoo is staring straight out the windshield, a far away look in his big doe eyes. It takes a moment before he turns them toward Jongin. Those usually bright eyes that Jongin loves, they’re clouded over. With tears. “I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo whispers.

Jongin reaches out in confused concern, taking Kyungsoo’s hand. “What for? What’s wrong?”

“Because, I…” he purses his lips as the first tear falls. “I know how much you love children. And with me, you can’t have that.”

“Don’t,” Jongin says, trying to reassure Kyungsoo. “Soo, stop.” But he can’t help but choke on the edge of the last word, feeling his own emotions get the better of him.

“You should have seen yourself, Jongin,” Kyungsoo continues, letting the tears fall steadily now. “You were so perfect with her. You’re meant to be a father.” The devastating weight of guilt in Kyungsoo’s eyes is enough to destroy Jongin.

“Kyungsoo, I  _ love _ you. You will forever be enough for me.”

“I don't just want you to have enough, I want you to have everything, Jongin. You shouldn’t have to settle for--”

“There is  **nothing** about us that is settling, Kyungsoo.” Over the course of their emotional exchange, they’ve naturally moved closer, Jongin’s hand wrapping around the back of Kyungsoo’s nape to pull them together til their foreheads are resting on each other as they stop talking to just commune, eyes falling closed and blinking down tears.

Jongin can’t lie or pretend his dream of being a father has faded away. But it’s always,  _ always _ a dream with Kyungsoo by his side, building a family together and falling further in love as they share all the joys of raising a child. He can’t imagine wanting it any other way.

“I just wish things were different,” Kyungsoo finally whispers, stroking over Jongin’s arm, foreheads still pressed together.

“Yeah. Me, too,” Jongin agrees. Five years since they first had this conversation, and still no change. They still can’t legally wed in South Korea, much less adopt.

“You know I’d give anything to make you happy,” Kyungsoo says, pulling back to stare into Jongin’s eyes, willing him to know how much he means it.

“Of course I do.  _ You _ make me happy. None of this is your fault, none of this is a failing on you, Soo. You have to stop carrying this cross. It makes just as much sense to blame  _ me _ \--”

Kyungsoo gives him a sharp look, like he’s ready to fight Jongin over even considering blaming himself. 

“See?” Jongin says, trying to give a light laugh. “You’d find that ridiculous, right?”

“Because it is.” Kyungsoo wraps his arms around Jongin in a deep hug, sagging into him. They sigh into the comfort of closeness. “Ever since I realized I was gay, I knew I didn’t have these options. You  _ have _ options-”

“Kyungsoo, I choose you, I choose us. And I’ll keep doing that until the day I die.” They hold each other in silence for a long stretch of time until Kyungsoo kisses his cheekbone and slowly works his way across Jongin’s cheek to his lips. Jongin hums into the kiss and whispers, “how lucky I am, to love you.”

Kyungsoo kisses him harder in response, trying to communicate his appreciation. When they break apart, those pretty doe eyes are full of tenderness, tears finally washed away. “Love you, too.”

Jongin smiles, heart fuller than it’s been in months. In the way it can only be when fully honest, pain and all, with the person who means the world to you.

“Let’s go eat,” he suggests.

\----

At the end of the day, Jongin drops Kyungsoo off at the base with a final kiss and makes the quiet drive home. He’s staying at his parents’ house tonight, needing to bring back the word on how Jongdae’s family is and how they liked the gifts. Luckily, his mom doesn’t force him to chat for long before he heads up to his childhood bedroom. He flops down on the bed and feels the emotional weight of the day in his bones.

A soft knock at his door has him lifting his head up to say, “yeah?”

His eldest sister comes in. It’s an unexpected visit, and has Jongin propping himself up on his elbows. “Noona. Hi?”

“Hey, kiddo.” She comes over and sits on his bed. “I thought today might be… hard. For you.”

He shrugs, not really wanting to go into it. But his sister knows him.

“I wanted to tell you know something,” she starts, picking at the comforter as she speaks.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. I… last week, I did something. Something I’ve been thinking about for awhile,” she confesses.

“What is it?” he prods gently.

She looks at him with a nervous smile. “I had some of my eggs frozen.”

Jongin shakes his head incredulously. “Um, that’s… that’s surprising. Is there a reason?”

“The doctors said it’s best to do it before you’re too far into your 30s, so, I went ahead and did it. In case I decide I do want children in the future.” She hasn’t found anyone to settle down with yet, so it makes sense, but it’s also a bit... sudden. “Anyway, I wanted you to know that… if you decided… if you and Kyungsoo decided one day, that you wanted to try to have a child by surrogate, you’re welcome to use them, too.”

“What.” Jongin sits all the way up, shocked. “Noona, I could never ask you to-”

“I know. And I know you wouldn’t. That’s why I’m offering. Like I said, it’s already done, the egg collection. Who knows if I’ll ever find someone worth using them with,” she jokes, “but you… you already have that. And this way the child could still be, well, part of both of you, in a way? I heard egg donors are almost as hard to find as surrogates, so I just wanted you to know that at least that step would be out of the way.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Jongin simply looks at his sister, speechless. And suddenly full of hope. That he and Kyungsoo  _ will  _ have options, if they decide they’re ready, one day. “Thank you, for offering. For thinking of us.”

“Of course,” she says, smiling fondly. “We’re family, all of us. I hope Kyungsoo knows that to me, he’s already a brother-in-law.”

Jongin pulls her into a crushing hug, grateful for such acceptance within the unaccepting world all around them. He savors it, and wants nothing more than for Kyungsoo to feel the security he’s feeling now, too. “Do me a favor, and tell him that the next time you see him?”

“Okay, I promise.”

* * *

A/N References:

Normally, I fill the references section of my nonaus with irl Kaisoo happenings, but this is going to be a more uh educational ref section bc there’s not much Kaisoo right now (sob) but this was really on my heart to write.

  * Jongdae’s [baby girl turned 100 days old on August 6th](https://www.insider.com/chen-kim-jongdae-child-daughter-exo-l-princess-k-pop-2020-4), which was shortly after I started writing this. If you’re not familiar, [the Baek-il](https://asiasociety.org/korea/baek-il-100th-day-celebration-korea) is a celebratory occasion in Korea. 
  * If you’re already familiar with my nonau Kaisoo couple, I’ll remind you that this topic was _the_ topic that made Kyungsoo originally feel the need to give up their relationship once it was under fire in Waxing & Waning TT_TT Here’s a link [to the relevant chapter where he reflects on that](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10514802/chapters/23618478) if you want to re-live/remind yourself. (Don’t click that if you’ve never read Waxing & Waning! Start [at the beginning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10514802) instead.)



Devastatingly, gay rights in South Korea haven’t budged since I wrote W&W 4 years ago. Only [ 44% of South Koreans think society should accept homosexuality ](https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2020/06/25/global-divide-on-homosexuality-persists/) , whereas 53% (!!) think it should NOT accept homosexuality. Fucking majority against gays still, in 2020. 

The courts have refused to recognize any same sex unions,  [ throwing out a high profile case in mid 2016 ](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/25/south-korea-rejects-film-director-kim-jho-gwang-so-same-sex-marriage-case) of film director Kim-Jho Gwangsoo. As recently as 2019, the courts have continued to refuse to acknowledge same-sex marriages  [ that were conducted abroad ](http://m.koreaherald.com/amp/view.php?ud=20190227000623) , too.

As you can imagine, without allowing gays to legally wed, gay adoption is definitely off the table in South Korea, too.  [ Surrogacy is not illegal but is widely unregulated ](https://books.google.com/books?id=96cODQAAQBAJ&pg=PA187#v=onepage&q&f=false) . The ‘commissioning’ parents are the ones listed on the birth registry, with the surrogate going unmentioned. Medical ethics guidelines in SK suggest that doctors should only be willing to help married parents use surrogates, which would obviously would preclude gay couples.

Even in the US, gay adoption is rife with difficulties. Check out this sweet gay couple who have been waiting... [ for five years ](https://hub.jhu.edu/magazine/2013/fall/gay-couple-adoption/) for a birth mother to choose them OTL. And states have  [ refused to allow gay couples to foster children ](https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-lgbt-adoption/in-good-faith-u-s-legal-battle-over-gay-adoption-intensifies-idUSKBN21D01I) too, which is INSANE because there is generally a huge need for foster parents.

LGBTQ+ rights are a big concern of mine, esp regarding the right to wed, have children, and adopt. These are such fundamental human rights, to give and receive love and build a family unit, that should never be denied on the basis of the loving partners’ sex. If you’re not aware of the situation in your country, I encourage you to seek out info to be fully educated on the plight of these couples, and vote whenever you can for gay couples’ right to marry and have children.

With Love,

Lizzie/at1stsoo

Talk with me in the comments or on  [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/at1stsoo)


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